She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize