Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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