Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
