so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize