he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
