Nicole vs. Life
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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