she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
