worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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