Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Randomize
