Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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