pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
