Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
