i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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