Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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