i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Randomize