apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
