your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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