Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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