Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
