i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
