dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Randomize
