you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
