She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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