nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize