Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
