the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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