from now on my penis is your penis
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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