forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
