how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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