well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
