did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
