Say something about gay babies.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
