You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
