She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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