Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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