so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
