You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
