Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize