I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
pray to the hookup gods
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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