i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
