that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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