I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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