return my video game
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
My ATM looks so different sober.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
