what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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