is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
