How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm bleeding and have questions
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
