So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
