yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
She tied me up with her honor cords...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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