sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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