I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
