he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
