If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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