Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
