I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
