so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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