Best friends brother. Beat that.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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