Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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