I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
