I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I AM VODKA MAN
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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