doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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