dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
