Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
